I never in my worst nightmare imagined this would be your story....our story. But reality tells me, this is it. This is the part of the story where you leave and I figure out how to live without you. Your death informs everything, touches everyone, and will always be the catastrophic event that forever changed it all. I am still resisting inside, still screaming my internal “NO!” over and over again, unable to fully grasp and process what really happened. I still wonder if I could have done something to save you...us...your story...our story. Grief has me wishing for impossible things. My mind has always been fairly rational, yet the longing for my old life is so strong, it’s hard to accept what is. Instead I imagine you taking care of the storage unit that needs attention or changing the oil in my car. I imagine you doing school science projects, taking the boys out riding, and putting them to bed after I’ve had a long day. I imagine you apologizing f...
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