Liar

How could one night make all the difference in the world? How could I fall asleep in my old life and wake up in my new one...my new nightmare?  Eight months later and I'm still asking, "How is this my life?!?!"  My husband passes away one summer night and I'm left to raise our boys on my own?  Just like that?  Again....HOW!?!  I still ask this simple question many times each day.  I'm still confused, and overwhelmed and exhausted and heartbroken.  Yet, I put on my mask each morning and trudge through the day.  I feel like a liar.  I say I'm fine and that my weekend was good.  Why not?  That's what I used to say in my old life!  But now, I am SO not fine, and my weekends are SO very painful.  But that's not what people want to hear.  I don't blame them.  My pain is almost too much for me to handle.  Why would anyone else want to see it?

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